@FuckabillyRex: I have a bad feeling I'll be wearing one of those barrels with suspenders by the end of the year, but not in a fun, whimsical way.
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@slimmy_shady: When I was having an affair with twins, people used to ask how I told them apart. Well, Sue had brown eyes and Steve had a moustache.
@PaperWash: [1st date] me: are you cold? date: *shivering* a little me: *putting second hoody on* that sucks
@dril: my garbage family is staging an intervention or something for me because i forgot what its called when people have a chin made out of hair
@MUMSIEesq: Fun DIY Project Even YOU Can Do Step 1: Flip over empty wine bottle Step 2: Use base as weapon