@jokesforsmokes: "I have a bloody nose" - a British person emphasizing the fact that he has a nose.
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@CulturedRuffian: My anaconda don't want none unless you use proper grammar and avoid using double negatives.
@anbrll00: Dr: Your Mom is like regular moms except we lost her in surgery. Me: Did you just use a joke format to tell me my mom died Dr: yep
@Carbosly: You say "save the date", I hear "more time to come up with an excuse of why I'm not going."