@jokesforsmokes: "I have a bloody nose" - a British person emphasizing the fact that he has a nose.
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@jordan_stratton: The best part of Robocop is when they spent billions of dollars making a cyborg super soldier instead of helping Detroit not be awful.
@Diversion50: POLICE OFFICER: Your name? MAN: The Rock. POLICE OFFICER: Your FULL name? MAN: [quietly] Theodore Rockinghorse.
@thepunningman: [hamster construction site] "Colin, you seen Dave?" I left him manning the concrete mixer "Oh no" [cut to Dave having the time of his life]
@justabloodygame: [throwing a party] I invited Judas. That okay? "Judas from IT, or the guy who betrayed Jesu-" *loud knock* "It's the Roman legion. Open up!"