@RefractReality: I have a feeling his life would have gone in a different direction had his name been Kanye East.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@murrman5: [at divorce lawyer] bad news, currently all your husbands assets are frozen "he didn't" he bought 1547 copies of it, he must really hate you
@Shira: Only in America would people violently trample each other for discounts, exactly one day after being thankful for what they already have...
@zacharyflynn: How to get a girl to like you: 1. Become a lion tamer 2. Release a lion on her 3. Tame it right before it kills her 4. Take her to Chili's?
@YayForJam: Wanna terrify a homeless dude? Dress as a grocery store clerk and pretend to scan all the stuff in his shopping cart