@summerofbenny: I have a huge gash in my forehead. I'm going to assume I got up in the middle of the night, fought some crime, and went back to bed.
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@CanadianCyn: If I'm old enough to be your mother we can't date. Just kidding. Go ask for your allowance and buy me a drink.
@chuuew: Is it okay for men to sit down to pee? The manager of this sofa store doesn't seem to think so.
@TheThomason: Fun way to make someone question everything: comment "you are so brave" on all their selfies.
@XplodingUnicorn: Dear Britain, This Brexit vote is all wrong If you want to leave the EU, dump some tea in the harbor and fight a war. Sincerely, America