@omgthatspunny: I have a job crushing pop cans. It's soda pressing.
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@Loli_Sug: Me: Can you bring me a burrito Him: you want me to come over? Me: no. I want a burrito to come over.
@just1fool: If I'm going to be in your dreams tonight please let me know so I can stuff some socks down the front of my pants.
@kelkulus: The Garden of Eden must have been one exciting place if the most tempting things were apples.
@TheWadest: Chicks love guys with tattoos cuz it means they're willing to commit to something stupid for the rest of their lives...