@NotOnTheMoors: I have a male dead set on getting into my pants. It's the cat and my knickers drawer, but still.
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@lisaxy424: Listen jogger, I'm eating fast food alone in my car, the last thing I need is eye contact.
@causticbob: A boy asks his mom, "Why am I black and you're white?" She says, "Don't even go there. The way that party went, you're lucky you don't bark"
@jergarl: Me: I'm so tired I need to sleep. Ambien: Here I'll help... Hey don't forget to take off your clothes and pretend that you're snow! Me: K
@ZachXJ: i go to a lot of married ladies' funerals and play the part of an upset lover just to mix things up and for free shrimp