@NotOnTheMoors: I have a male dead set on getting into my pants. It's the cat and my knickers drawer, but still.
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@FinallyHeSleeps: Somehow my beach-bod went to a dad-bod and unfortunately now it's more of a beached-dad-bod.
@Jandalize: People who say 'be careful what you wish for' have obviously never wished for free, unprotected, unlimited wifi from their neighbor.
@somelightcrying: [think of idiom] firing on all cylinders [post tweet w/ idiom + literal interpretation] mr. on all cylinders, ur fired [wait for 100+ faves]