@NotOnTheMoors: I have a male dead set on getting into my pants. It's the cat and my knickers drawer, but still.
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@murrman5: [closes kitchen drawer gently and looks at son] I wasn't here *wife walks in with police officer* "did you take a knife to a job interview"
@rablivingstone: Learn how to read a book again simply by sticking a twitter Avi alongside every paragraph.......