@geekmaude: I have a new alter ego named Princess of Optimism. You may call me Poo.
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@Retacof: Officer: You were speeding. Me: I am trying to keep up with traffic. O: There Is no traffic. M: I am really far behind.
@mrsjohngoodman: One time my teacher was telling a story about war and the girl in front of me slowly opened her laptop and liked Downy on Facebook.
@amydillon: [son comes home with big lump on his forehead] ME: Oh no, what happened? 7: I fell down on the playground. ME: How did you fall? 7: Forward.