@geekmaude: I have a new alter ego named Princess of Optimism. You may call me Poo.
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@SincerelyTumblr: Me: can remember the lyrics to 898989 different songs. Me: forgets what i had for dinner yesterday
@hazelmotes1: Having children really brought me and my wife closer together. We have a common enemy now.
@mynameisntdave: If you want your dog to take a pill: 1. Get a piece of cheese 2. Eat the cheese for energy 3. Get ready to wrestle your dog