@380kmh: I have a new favorite meme page
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@Fred_Delicious: [2 detectives are at a murder scene] "my god Wilkins. Are you thinking what im thinking?" ... "a lasagne driving a car?" "Exactly"
@monica_L1257: *6yo comes out with dripping wet face* Me: what did you do? 6: my brother dared me to dip my face in the toilet water *speechless*
@jasonmustian: "Did it hurt...when you fell from heaven and lost the use of your legs?"--bad pick-up line to use on a handicapped person
@WheelTod: My son is an embarrassment, I'm afraid. He came back from college for Xmas, and seems mortified to find that me & his mom have gone goth.