@Imsohoppy: I have a particular set of skills, skills that allow me to open beer cans so no one in the house knows I'm drinking.
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@anildash: Shout out to everybody home for the holidays telling their family about conversations that happened online by saying "My, uh… friend said…"
@abhorrent_wife: There is no amount of money I wouldn't pay for a remote control that could walk itself over to me from the other side of the room.
@Howiesbookclub: "Daddy, are we poor?" Compared to the vast majority of humans on earth? No. "Compared to my friends?" Oh yes, sweety. As the very dirt.