@inmynewskin: I have a tattoo of a tiger shirt underneath my tiger shirt so when I take off my tiger shirt BOOM tiger shirt
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@kashmir_lover1: According to my gym trainer, I need to cut back on drinking According to my bartender, I look great Moral of the story: I'm drunk
@Contwixt: If you tell me your kid is 22 months and I buy it a beer, that's on you. That is your bad.
@junejuly12: Seeing a woman drinking, smoking, and gambling while in her wedding dress makes me realize I need to up my multi-tasking game.
@Jessdaisy: Current relationship status: Leaving pizza and beer in the bushes, to lure in stalkers.