@blood_orphan: I have a tenuous grasp on the English language. Shakespeare? That dude's grasp on the English language was, like... twelveuous.
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@rockymomax: Bank robber: EVERYONE BE CALM AND NO ONE GETS HURT Guy from back of room: IM DATING UR EX WIFE BR: [sobbing] ok only one person gets hurt
@mlefaye: I bet a lot of guys who don't think that rape is a big deal were super upset when that U2 album was put on their phone without consent.
@MrPhetz: Why did my ex gf Fav my tweet where I announced that I got laid off. Why did you do that sharon
@JermHimselfish: My sense of humor is so dark that my grandmother would have been very unhappy if my sister went on a date with it.