@blood_orphan: I have a tenuous grasp on the English language. Shakespeare? That dude's grasp on the English language was, like... twelveuous.
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@capnmcfword: He always wanted a woman that would devour him whole like a gas station roasted chicken. She always wanted a gas station roasted chicken.
@hayes_t_r: *puts on layers of running gear* *makes a ponytail* *laces up sneakers* *drives to McDonalds*
@thesulk: When I call 911, I'm gonna do a Sean Connery impersonation to briefly amuse the jurors at my trial.