@kellyoxford: I have a Victoria's Secret model's body!! (in my basement)
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@tarashoe: a proper response to girl calling "amy?" in ladies bathroom wouldve been silence. but instead i yelled YOU WON'T FIND YOUR PRECIOUS AMY HERE
@KelgoreTrout: the guy who named the spatula was so lazy. hes like "what should i call this thing that spatulas?"
@theshantilly: Him: What are you doing? Me: Tweeting. Him: Gah. Such a colossal waste of time. Me: *stare* Him: *goes back to playing Candy Crush*