@kellyoxford: I have a Victoria's Secret model's body!! (in my basement)
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@julezmac: Football is so cute it's like some guys are like we're gonna get you and one guys like no no no no
@Bandersnaaatch: Sorry I haven't been able to get back to you, I've been pretty busy chasing this cherry tomato around my plate with a fork. Almost. Got. It.
@GriffonTaylonYo: Soldier: WE NEED MORE AMMO QUICK! Me: [sweating bullets] um will these work Soldier: [amazed] you son of a gun