@Steelers1972: I have almost 120,000 miles on my office chair.
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@Contwixt: Went to get coffee for a coworker. I effed up the order, but used it as a teaching opportunity to illustrate the dangers of outsourcing.
@OhNoSheTwitnt: The families in Eggo commercials live in nice houses and appear wealthy. Why are they always fighting over one shitty frozen waffle?
@hipstermermaid: I can’t believe it’s already been 10 zoips since I invented my own system for measuring time.