@Steelers1972: I have almost 120,000 miles on my office chair.
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@Sean_Burgundy_: Friend: All I want for Christmas is a new blender Me: Wouldn't you rather have your life together?
@theshamingofjay: Waiter: how do you want your burger? Me: *points to girl at another table not taking a picture of her dinner* that rare
@david8hughes: As a fireman, I'm constantly asked questions like, "Can you please stop flexing & put out that fire?"