@GrowlyGrego: I have an extensive library of over 2,000 classic, important books just in case you have a question about the first 54 pages of one of them.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@daemonic3: Mommy, what are these? "Put them back they are sleeping pills!" Oh, then you shouldn't yell "Why?" [whispering] YOU'LL WAKE THEM UP
@XplodingUnicorn: [out to eat with in-laws] Me: Waiter, your cheapest bottle of champagne Wife: Hey these are my parents Me: Waiter, 4 glasses of tap water
@emilylime: The more exclamation marks I use, the more I'm lying: Miss you too girl!!! Yea I'd love to go to lunch!!!!! Sorry something came up!!!!!!!!
@Breadery: I taught my daughter to whistle a few days ago and now I'm teaching her that whistling can lead to adoption.