@slimmy_shady: I have an idea for a website where people seeking to share their views and ideas can get together and ignore each other.
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@TheToddWilliams: WIFE: What’re you doing in the garage? ME: I made a cloning machine. WIFE: Don’t do anything stupid. OTHER ME: Like what?
@LaceyNycole: Girl: I can't wait to have kids! I babysit so I pretty much know what it's like to be a parent. It'll be easy. Me: *laughs for 20 minutes*