@slimmy_shady: I have an idea for a website where people seeking to share their views and ideas can get together and ignore each other.
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@FrenulumBreve: [love making] Her: [leans in] "do that thing you know I like." [i cease to exist] Her: "yeah baby."
@jujuhounds: Girl: Saying hot is disrespectful. You should say 'beautiful' instead. Me: Ok. Me: Can you please pass the beautiful sauce?
@nbadag: WIFE: please come out of there so we can talk ME: [from cardboard box] i'm sorry come out of where? WIFE: [sigh] please exit the spacecraft
@shutupmikeginn: I'm a club photographer, I take pictures at the club and people pay me to delete them