@Maxine12333: I have days when wearing a hat is the only use I have made of my head.
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@JessicaVarsity: Felony Insurance, like car insurance but for when you hate someone so much you just have to throw a cinder block through their windshield.
@pixelatedboat: Critics agree that plot considerations did not justify the near-constant nudity in your film "How To Safely Use A Ladder In The Workplace"
@Sickayduh: "That damn Lassie said Timmy fell down a ruffruffruff" "Relax, honey. I'm sure she means well"
@matt___nelson: "Will he ever wake up?" He's been in a coma for 3 weeks but watch this. *starts playing Pitbull* *patient wakes up to turn off the music*