@JoeyRation: I have feelings for you. Please take them and leave.
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@jazmasta: Goodnight moon, goodnight stars. Goodnight weird guy who walks past my house on crutches every night. Goodnight house on crutches.
@SaraESpivey: My boss just farted. I asked him if he was trying to get the condom out. He's mad now.
@michael_raphone: there's two types of people inthe world: cops who are a week from retirement and robbers who want to go straight but have to do one last job