@_Ms_Moneypenny_: I HAVE FINALLY MET MY DREAM MAN
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@lisaxy424: [a person with cold hands] DONT YOU DARE TOUCH ME WITH THOSE [a dog with cold paws] POOR BABY COME HERE I WILL GIVE YOU ALL MY BODY HEAT
@mrjohndarby: [looking at our kids baby photos] me: ugh, this one came out real bad wife: oh yeh, just get rid of it me: ok. *shouting* TIMMY! PACK YOUR BAGS
@nishadtrivedi: If you feel trapped in your body with no way out, just think about that guy in the middle of a conga line.
@_Water_Baby: At the beginning of a long plane ride, I like to ask my husband why he loves me. His frantic look for an escape hatch entertains me.