@_Ms_Moneypenny_: I HAVE FINALLY MET MY DREAM MAN
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@david8hughes: [baby sitting] "Hey, yeah it's me. No, everything's fine. Just a quick question about his legs." "..." "So how many legs did he have?"
@lakeanagirl: I like to take an empty Krispy Kreme donut box to work and sit in the break room and watch all of the disappointed faces
@ArfMeasures: COP: There's been a murder BATMAN: I won't rest until I avenge them C: It's outside of Gotham B: Actually I have got a lot on at the moment
@Buncahn: [boy spreads his little arms] Boy: i love you this much daddy! Neil deGrasse Tyson: on a universal scale, that is an alarmingly small amount