@JuliaChildCIA: "I have found our arguments quite useful - almost as useful as those I had with my father." - Spock and the guy I end up marrying.
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@Spotzwoj: The best time to reexamine your life is when you find yourself reluctantly nodding to the questions asked at the start of an infomercial.
@BoogTweets: *Busts through Kool-aid mans wall* Kool-aid man: Not cool. What I do is fake. This is our home Me: I'm sorr… *A sippy cup starts crying*
@ibid78: I have batlike reflexes. -You mean catlike reflexes? *screeches real loud right in your face to locate food and avoid obstacles*
@Be___Dope: [text] Her: I picked up buffalo wings. Me: * moves furniture around * rolls out plastic sheeting