@JuliaChildCIA: "I have found our arguments quite useful - almost as useful as those I had with my father." - Spock and the guy I end up marrying.
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@TheSharona06: That guy who just spent 2 hours washing and waxing his sportscar looks like a douche. C'mon boys, you know what to do. - Birds, probably
@leannuh_renay: I formerly apologize to my mother for any and everything that follows that she inevitably won’t approve of. #TheFirstLineInMyAutobiography
@existentialcoms: What I like about humanity is that certain mustaches are more evil than others, and everyone basically agrees on which ones are which.