@Eightinchgoat: I have high blood pressure, but my dogs don't. So, from now on I'm only getting upset about squirrels and mailmen.
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@iamspacegirl: uh NEWS FLASH Keith ur name rhymes w/ teeth. Yea how do u like them apples Mouth Boy. How do u like them apples promoting good oral hygiene
@Thynebear: [phone w/ fiancé] Hey, I can still pick whatever suit I like for the wedding right? "As long as its black, why?" *wearing batsuit* No reason
@julietactually: [taking the witness stand] "Do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but—" *leaning into the mic* I choose dare
@bridger_w: Game of Thrones is exciting, but I think it's important to remember that these people are fighting over a chair