@dumbbeezie: I have jury duty tomorrow so whoever it is, they’re getting the chair
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@LeBearGirdle: Me: I want more Dentist: excuse me? Me: you know how you take teeth out? Dentist: yea Me: do that but the opposite
@Adam14: Me: What are you up to? Her: I'm making Chinese. Me: Cloning's unethical. Hahaha just kidding. Make me a math tutor.
@DurtMcHurtt: [eating an entire extra large pizza to myself] ME: *hears a knock on the door* THIS STALL IS TAKEN.
@mean_spice: [bedroom] Me getting out whipped cream: I've been waiting for this Gf: kinky, I like it Me already eating pie: what