@bencoffeehall: I have learned to accept that my parents are "Santa," but I still have no idea how they get to all those other houses.
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@Brampersandon_: FIANCÉ: where should we go on our honeymoon ME (after hearing there's a charizard hidden at mt rushmore): how do you feel about south dakota
@hazelmotes1: Alien: take me to your leader. Me: They all suck. How about I take you to this place I know where you can get amazing mini donuts?
@iwearaonesie: Me*taps wife's shoulder*Whatcha doin? wife:Meditating me*still tapping*Why? wife: It helps me relax me*still tapping* Is it working? wife:No
@HumanPog: one time i slam dunked a basketball so good we were out of school for a week people just needed time to process