@krishna_van: I have many hidden talents. Just wish I could find 'em.
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@TheMichaelRock: Me: did you get into my weed again? Wife *dipping a pop tart in ranch dressing* what?
@TheAlexNevil: My German girlfriend said she wants me to eat her Kürbiskuchen. I was aroused. I found out it means pumpkin pie. Now I'm more aroused.
@hotdogsladies: Whenever our neighbor's dog is barking, I know there's either someone at their door or literally anything else in the universe has happened.