@jonnysun: i have never seen a chameleon in real life and i dont know if that means i havent or i have
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@pattonoswalt: I hate all the "creepy clown" news. I'm having a clown solidarity march at dusk near an abandoned insane asylum. Need a calliope player.
@TheMichaelRock: No thanks, World Cup. If I wanted to watch dudes run around for 3 hours and leave with a tie, I'd just go to Sears.
@LADaddy: [At the stress test, staring at a treadmill] Dr.: Just run at a speed where you can still talk normally. *sits down on a chair* Me: Okay.
@DanMentos: [Penn and Teller getting a loan for their comedy act] "Ok all you guys need is a name" *they look around bank for ideas*