@TheWeirdWorld: I have never seen a construction crane being put in place. They just show up.
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@lazerdoov: *Tries to pet the K-9 unit dogs while I'm hiding from them under a car in a parking lot*
@lovemydogduck: The only times I go for a jog is when there's a cute guy in front of me or a creepy guy behind me.
@ch000ch: [time traveler returns home to 1881] guys i forgot to grab the cure for malaria but here's some...DORITOS LOCOS TACOS [loud cheering]
@markhoppus: I hooked my fidget spinner up to my vape pen and The Millennials crowned me King of Avocado Toast