@TheWeirdWorld: I have never seen a construction crane being put in place. They just show up.
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@QwertyJones3: BUILDING INSPECTOR: This building is not structurally sound ARCHITECT: why BUILDING INSPECTOR: Well first of all it's made of paper ARCHITECT: Yeah construction paper!
@KeetPotato: would you like to come on our quiz show? you could win £2,000,000? [imagines spending the entire show standing up] "no thanks"
@jergarl: [on phone with debit fraud] Bank guy: Sir do you shop on line at all Me: DUDE IT'S 2017 WE BUY TOILET PAPER ONLINE BG: M: Sometimes. Yes