@realDonaldTrump: I have never seen a thin person drinking Diet Coke.
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@OfficeofSteve: Me: The dogs ears are so soft! Wife: I know! Me: I want to make a pillow out of them Wife: ..... Me: Not now obviously, like, when he dies
@grammar_c**t: "I love you" can be the most beautiful words you can hear from someone you truly care about, next to "I got this round."
@iGreenMonk: Just found the worst page in the entire dictionary. What I saw was disgraceful, disgusting, dishonest, and disingenuous.