@thesulk: I have no beef with vegetarians.
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@XplodingUnicorn: I had abstinence-only sex education when I was in high school. It was called Dungeons and Dragons.
@Sanbel11: You haven't Instagramed what you had for dinner yet? Please hurry up, the suspense is killing me.
@matt___nelson: 911: what's your emerg- ME: I'VE BEEN SHOT 911: ...why would you interrupt me like that?