@ranndrew: "I have no porpoise!" -existential marine biologist.
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@1_swarthy_dude: Boss:"I'll need those projections done Aesop!" Me:"You mean ASAP?" Boss:"No, I mean a parable that uses animals to convey a moral lesson."
@krisv_723: Based on the noise, my neighbors cars is stuck in the snow. If the aim of my potato gun is correct he's gonna have a broken windshield too.