@TheCiscoKidder: I have no problem feeding my kid something that fell on the floor, so I get it, restaurant employees.
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@austen_420: Rules for meeting a puppy: 1 be cool 2 pet it 3 do not steal it 4 stop running from the owner 5 put it down 6 this isn't worth jail time
@bondgirl_79: Sorry I called animal control about your children but I really think those tranquilizer darts did the trick.
@redhotirish75: My neighbors headboard kept me up last night so I yelled," the guy last night made her scream louder." Then it got quiet..
@elle91: Shift the power at family gatherings by telling older relatives you didn't recognize them because they've gotten so big.