@Jennifergr8: I have no super powers. I'm guessing I'm the villain.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@KenJennings: Before the Internet, I guess I just assumed all my friends knew how to spell "definitely."
@jayonguitar: If your girlfriend offers to make you breakfast at 2 AM. She's probably not your girlfriend and your just drunk at Denny's again.
@jenlaw_11: Be careful of what you say online because future employers might see it and will probably want to start hanging out with you
@donjuantip: Your cell should have a 'drunk mode' like 'airplane mode' so that no text messages or tweets leave your phone but you can still call a taxi.