@melliemeow: I have on my new shoes today. They are so cute, and comfortable, as long as I don't stand in them or walk in them.
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@Branka_R: My boyfriend is being so nice to me since I showed him how easy it was to remove blood from carpeting...
@mama_earp: Announced sternly to students today that "only hard things are worth doing!" In other news, I have a bunch of parent emails to respond to.
@Black__Elvis: I'm sick and tired of all these goddamn illegal aliens taking jobs away from good, hard-working American aliens.
@ComedicBust: [About to have sex] Me: I want you so bad. Her: Take me. Me: [rips off panties] Her: WHY THE HELL ARE YOU WEARING PANTIES