@Dr_powpow: I have performance enhancing shrugs.
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@CoreyKeyz: You got 30 minutes to text me back or I'm breaking into your house & responding to myself.
@Rollmaninoz: *giraffe getting his daily coffee* G: usual grande mocha man Barista: gee that’s a… G: *sigh* B:…tall order G: Christ, every goddam day Phil
@stuckinaportal: [mastercard commercial] "there are some things that money can't buy" politician: i don't get it
@joejwest: ME: Eat your lemon PIRATE: No ME: It stops scurvy PIRATE: [folds arms, shuts eye] ME: [carves tiny skull on lemon] PIRATE: [opens eye a bit]