@SufficientCharm: I have really bad hearing & thought he said "I love turds" but he said "nerds" & now I don't know what to do with this shit in my underwear.
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@egg_dog: Teacher: ok class bring your dioramas to the front of the class Me: [holding a bowl of diahorrea] oh no…
@QwertyJones3: Girl: I dumped my last boyfriend cause he always gave short answers. I never knew what he was thinking. That's so annoying, right? Me: Word
@ThePocketJustin: Soon a hero will rise. Then he will fall again. Then he will rise and also fall. Wait. The hero is on a trampoline.