@SufficientCharm: I have really bad hearing & thought he said "I love turds" but he said "nerds" & now I don't know what to do with this shit in my underwear.
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@XplodingUnicorn: I love strapping my kids into their car seats. It’s the closest I can legally come to putting them in straitjackets.
@Scott_A_Gilmore: I gave up and "folded" the fitted sheet into a rope so I could shimmy down from the 3rd floor to escape folding laundry.
@hippieswordfish: *suddenly awakes* honey! i just had a nightmare that i was naked at a job interview, licking BBQ sauce off the guy's face interviewer: ummm