@SufficientCharm: I have really bad hearing & thought he said "I love turds" but he said "nerds" & now I don't know what to do with this shit in my underwear.
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@Goldishocks: Falling in love is like diving into a tin of marshmallows, then hitting your head on the bottom.
@juliussharpe: Maybe we should stop making ski masks since no one wears them except bank robbers.
@3sunzzz: 6yo: What is a solar eclipse? Me: Have you ever been outside in the dark? 6yo: yeah Me: same idea