@Sweet_Leafs_: I have said it before. I will at it again. If anyone is into wife swapping. I will take a dirtbike or a puppy. Hit me up.
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@summerofbenny: I have a huge gash in my forehead. I'm going to assume I got up in the middle of the night, fought some crime, and went back to bed.
@DaddyJew: Interviewer: what's your biggest weakness? Me: im very straight forward I: doesn't sound like a weakness M: you look stupid in that tie
@slimmy_shady: Did you know that if you squint at a cat and it squints back, it's the cat's way of saying "What the f are you looking at?!"
@primawesome: All I want for Christmas is a survivalist training course so I can finally move to the woods, go off the grid, and not participate in society anymore until the government hunts me down and begs me to help them with a matter of national security, which I refuse.