@VaDawn13: I have seagull managers. They swoop in, screech like hell, shit all over everything, then fly away.
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@Cheese_Pile: *Walks into puppy store wearing a large trenchcoat* *Hurries out of puppy store in a much tighter-fitting trenchcoat*
@HatfieldAnne: Accidentally got melted butter on some fried chicken and this is my delicious origin story.
@Screwoff315: I'm tired of this long distance relationship! Time to move the liquor cabinet to the living room!
@13spencer: New Neighbor: Hi, I'm Derek; I moved in downstairs. Me: I'm Spencer; I'll be looking in your window and judging your decorating choices.