@YouGuysDoIt: I have some popcorn in my teeth. You guys just go on without me.
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@inSanelySami: Lance Armstrong should keep his awards. Last time I rode a bike doped up, I ran into a parked zebra.
@chuuew: ME: [standing in the rain] STRANGER: [taps me on the shoulder] Here's an umbrella ME: Yes. I've seen one before.
@sonictyrant: Me: waiter, this crab is way too fresh Crab *to my wife* damn girl I’d like to dip you in butter and put you on a roll Woman at the next table: i'll have what she’s having