@YouGuysDoIt: I have some popcorn in my teeth. You guys just go on without me.
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@OutOfLeftField_: The Police asked me to make a statement so I stripped naked and ran around the precinct shouting, "Save the whales!"
@iamspacegirl: autocorrect: Tim! me: No no, autocorrect, this is TOM we know him. autocorrect*growling*: Tim. me *spritzing phone with water*: NO.
@AnkCoupleTO: [being stared at by a bunch of guys as I bathe in an airport washroom] can someone get my back please?
@ArfMeasures: SON: Daddy, what's the point of this? ME: I'm not sure there is one, son, our existence and actions are ultimately futile and meaningless SON: No, I meant this ME: Oh that's a can opener