@tastefactory: I have such a bad cold that when I breathe through my nose, it sounds like Marge Simpson sighing/expressing disapproval.
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@Gooooats: Avenge me! But only through passive aggressively commenting loudly around my murderer how great it would be to still have me alive.
@deardilettante: [hits you in the face with newspaper] "Sorry, I thought your eyebrows were caterpillars."