@GinAndJif: I have the ambition and optimism of Wile E Coyote and also the success of Wile E Coyote.
@someonesmomma: I just got a paper cut from a 108 yr old book so I'm sitting here waiting to turn into a vampire
@meowsepink: Dollar Tree pregnancy tests.
For when you only want to be 35% sure.
@sirrruh: My secret ingredient is letting somebody else cook.
@lloydrang: Way ahead of you, "cashless society."
@ThisOneSayz: Me: what big eyes you have!
Me: what big nose you have!
Me: what big teeth you have!
Dog: you're drunk again, aren't you?