@juliussharpe: I have the Anne Hathaway "It came true!" reaction whenever the guy at Subway hands me my sandwich.
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@ElliePeek: I feel like dry shampoo is the equivalent of unicorn blood for hair—it will keep it alive, but it will be a half-life, a cursed life...
@ArfMeasures: "Remember u don't choose your spirit animal. It choose u" ME: Ok great *all the animals immediately look away & avoid eye contact with me*
@carlyken: [February 12] Henry VIII: jeez walmart is out of cards, flowers and chocolate. She's going to kill me! Unless... [February 13] beheads wife
@better_off_dad: It's not considered 'people watching' if you do it through their bedroom window, apparently.