@DurtMcHurtt: I have the confidence of a bald headed eagle, and the shy modesty of his distant relative the combover falcon.
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@LostFelicia: My new sunglasses blend perfectly with the color of my hair so I won't feel so stupid the next time I lose them on the top of my head.
@richforri: I like Tweets that are so good that when I send them to FB my old friends won't talk to me on the phone for a week.
@JohnLyonTweets: [heaven] Abraham Lincoln: If only I'd stayed in that night instead of going to that show. Batman's parents: Same.
@Mister_Gravity: I'm usually pretty inspired after watching a movie to try something I've just seen. [hunts for a movie about cleaning bathrooms]