@realHamOnWry: I have to admit that while kids are a great gift I still prefer to play with the box they came in.
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@SoVeryBritish: “I wouldn’t worry if I were you” - Translation: I’m not worried because I’m not you
@SincerelyMen: I saw a man at the beach screaming, "Help, shark, help!" I laughed because I knew the shark wasn't going to help him.
@Smug_Lemur: Good News: Got rid of the skunk smell on the cat using hydrogen peroxide, dishsoap & baking soda Bad News: the cat now looks like Billy Idol