@TheFearBoners: I have to put reminders in my phone for everything or I'll forget it. Like 'pick up milk,' 'go to bank,' 'you don't hate minorities.'
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@Ideal_Victoria: It's official... My voice is incapable of making, "Thanks. I appreciate that" not sound sarcastic.
@JennUflect: Teens are like the Magic 8ball of humans, they think they have all the answers & you want to shake them because what they said was stupid.
@Wuttercuerk: If you're a Mormon, and you have a mom, and you haven't been referring to her exclusively as Mitt Momney...then why the hell are you Mormon?
@thetruealban: Flash floods in Arizona last night. We nominate California and Texas. #ALSIceBucketChallenge