@NikiWithIssues: I have to stop saying "Because I'm Batman" all the time. It's not cute anymore. Oh wait. Yea it is! You know why? Because I'm Batman.
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@WilliamRodgers: "Why have a ballroom, with no Balls?" -Disney's Frozen I paused the movie to tweet this...
@ch000ch: honestly it just makes me fat free italian when u tell me salad dressings aren't a good way to describe emotions
@therealeatwood: ME: Leave me alone! You’re not my real dad! CRAWDAD: [patiently] I am doing my best to raise you on my own. Now eat your plankton.
@FatherWithTwins: 4yo: When you're 9, you can drive Me: Pretty sure you have to be older 4yo: Some people can drive at 9 Me: A little older 4yo: Ya, it's 9