@ventivodkacran: I have too much stuff in my closet, so no one can be certain Tom Cruise isn't hanging out in there, too.
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@dvoted_hubsand: I cant use facebook cuz everyone making popular comment I wish I thought of first, like "thank God it Friday!" or "Im pregnant of baby"
@ShittyComedian: So it turns out that fat bearded man whose lap I was sitting on at the mall wasn't Santa. LOL drugs.
@myonlymizztake: I wish Adele would hurry up and put out another album so I could end this relationship.