@OfficeofSteve: I have Tourettes syndrome, but instead of swearing, I yell out movies that Nicolas Cage has been in
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@weinerdog4life: The 2nd amendment gives us the right to bear arms and the 8th amendment gives us the right to horse legs
@capricecrane: Alanis Morissette sings about having 10,000 spoons when all she needs is a knife. And nobody asks why she has 10,000 spoons?
@shegotagronk: It's fine when Santa does it, but when I see you when you're sleeping & know when you're awake it's "creepy" and "sir, you're under arrest"
@iinkedZombie: All of these people are screaming like they've never seen someone revving a chainsaw on a public beach.