@ThaJawn: I haven't been this disappointed since I found out that spider monkeys are not half spider half monkey
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@DrCephalopod: "He was the most alive of cats, he was the most dead of cats." - first line of Schrödinger's "A Tale of Two Kitties"
@BuckyIsotope: Is Pepsi ok? *I pull out my phone and send a text* *2 hours pass* *an out of breath Dikembe Mutumbo runs in wagging his finger* No it is not
@daniel_shaw: Personal trainer said we're going to try some dips today. I brought hot salsa and tangy cheese. He hates me.