@Mr_Kapowski: I haven't cleaned my car in so long that I still have paper maps in my glovebox
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@SleazySli: [at a spelling bee] Judge: Your word is SPELL. Witch: *mumbles something under her breath* Judge: Ribbit
@moooooog35: The 7-yr old has the flu so I'm letting her lick the envelopes of all my credit card bills.
@shkeeber: Me: *puts ferret in box with cat* Mom: What are you doing? Me: Making carrets! Mom: Carrots? Me: Yup! *plays Barry White* Cat: *yowls*