@primawesome: I haven't had bread in 3 weeks. I look great but now all I think about is bread. I'm basically a duck at this point.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@GloriaFallon123: Nothing like an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant" to make you feel like a Harvard double major.
@Eightinchgoat: Her: I LOVE your beard! Me: Thanks, yours is coming in nicely, too! Flirting with women my age is hard, guys.
@nbadag: DATE: so...this is your place? ME: yea...not fancy but it suits me. *opens flap of bouncy house* oh, also do you mind taking off your shoes
@decentbirthday: Just heard local reports of a stalker, which is funny because I watch everyone through their windows and none of them look suspicious