@primawesome: I haven't had bread in 3 weeks. I look great but now all I think about is bread. I'm basically a duck at this point.
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@faisaladam_: If a girl says she loves you, do you tell her thank you or run away screaming? Asking for a dad. Seriously, asking for a dad. I need a dad.
@Zac_Franklin: my default response when someone questions a risky text of mine is "sorry, I was drunk." But now everyone thinks I'm an alcoholic so..shit.
@zachheltzel: Everything doesn't "happen for a reason." The universe is not aware of your existence. Stop being arrogant.
@codyspencer0: The guy who invented folding chairs lovingly cares for his product which is a problem for his wife who has season tickets to pro wrestling