@FattMernandez: I haven't seen a kid on a leash in a while. I guess parents started releasing them back into the wild.
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@Cuntypants: Sorry I yelled "SURPRISE!" when you caught me in bed with your husband. I was unaware that you don't like surprises.
@EJGomez: [slams on the brakes] WHAT DO YOU MEAN LINDSAY LOHAN PLAYED BOTH TWINS IN THE PARENT TRAP
@crunchenhancer: I judge the strength of the economy based on what type of candy people hand out on Halloween.