@FattMernandez: I haven't seen a kid on a leash in a while. I guess parents started releasing them back into the wild.
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@anildash: Eventually one of these Republican congressmen is going to find out his daughter is a woman, and then we're all set.
@U_Want_Shum_M8: -hey don't shoot me, i'm just the messenger! -oh the letter says to shoot me? okay th-
@jennfer46: A policeman just knocked on my door and said my dogs were chasing people on bikes... My dogs don't even own bikes..
@Marlebean: I THINK I DRANK TOO MUCH SWEET TEA AND I'M SO AWAKE AND NO ONE ELSE SEEMS TO BE AWAKE AND YOU KNOW WHAT I HAVEN'T DONE IN A WHILE, LUNGES!!