@FattMernandez: I haven't seen a kid on a leash in a while. I guess parents started releasing them back into the wild.
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@dxblarssonENG: I hate when my tattoo guy asks if he can take pics for his website and then I wake up the next day realising I don't have any tattoos.
@Prof_Hinkley: Cop: Do you know why I pulled you over? Off duty cop: No *cop gets so close their mustaches interlock like velcro* You're driving great, pal
@LoveNLunchmeat: Before you take advice from me... you should know I walk around my house in my underwear while complaining about being cold.