@TheMichaelRock: I haven't seen an Ice Bucket Challenge video in about a week. Did we cure ALS?
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@TJ_TheMenace: Her: Sir, you account has been hacked. Me: Twitter? Her: No. Your Bank acc. Me: Ooooh Thank God.
@MelissaJoy33: I love being a mom. I just left the vacuum running in front of my teenagers door until he woke up. Should have done what I asked, lil shit!
@jonnysun: "ice, ice, baby. ice, ice, bab--no ice-- no thats definitly a babey" - man who has a job sorting babys and ice at the ice & baby factorey
@DothTheDoth: I can't wait for the stage of capitalism where we have to watch a 15 second advertisement before we remember a memory.